What is Normal?

So I went to catholic school and we were just never taught about birth control. I’m actually super curious what normal sex Ed is like. I’m not sure if this is normal or not but we weren’t told about the pill or condoms or any of those kind of preventative options. we were told not to have sex. All I remember basically is how periods work and how to use pads and stuff. In fact I remember one speaker in eighth grade telling us girls that having sex is like taking the petals off a flower, each time you have sex with a new partner a petal gets removed, and so she kept removing petals until there were none left and then asked us if we would want that flower. That really stuck with me, but In a way that made me question what I was learning, because that seemed kind of over the top. I’m from dc so we also got the day off to go to the march for life in dc. I remember being terrified to have sex and get pregnant because if I had to get an abortion I thought I’d go to hell. So this basically led to me being really clueless about sex. Once in high school, I think freshman or sophomore year, me and my friend got drunk and invited a boy over and he showed us his penis and I touched it with my hand. The next day I swear to god I bought a pregnancy test because I thought maybe somehow there could have been sperm that somehow made its way into my vagina. I had never had sex I just touched a penis with my hand for like a second! That’s hilariously sad! So I think overall I felt really afraid of sex, thought I had to apologize to Jesus if I masturbated and weird stuff like that. I finally understood sex because of my half sister kinda reentering my life and explaining things to me, and having a larger circle of friends who talked to me about sex. I should probably also mention that my mom is really religious and told me to never ask about sex. Even if I had sex she didn’t want to know. So I finally had some knowledge, but I think I should have learned more because I was still naive and I let some guys have the upper hand, even was in some sorta not okay situations between the first time I had sex and when I finally felt in control and aware of how to best make myself comfortable in sex and relationships. So all of this made me feel really strongly against the way I grew up. I’m really open about sex related stuff now, maybe to some people even too open. I definitely want to raise my kids in a more healthy and sex positive environment, so they know the risks but don’t freaking apologize to Jesus after they masturbate! In terms of reflecting on me now, I don’t really think about how I was raised unless to kinda get a laugh from people. I feel good in my relationships and with sex and have basically shed the shame I was taught growing up. But this is all from having made new friends in high school and connecting more deeply with my sister that I mentioned. And I guess it’s made me a stronger feminist as a result.

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